Joaquín came from Valencia, the man who used to sneak out his bedroom window, dashing down to the local ring to practice his bullfighting passes and who cheerfully admits that he was breast-fed until the age of seven, laughing: "When we played football in the town square, the other lads would run to the water fountain for a drink; I ran to my mum's tits." It was that, he insists, that made him so strong. It once made him attractive to Real Madrid and Chelsea too – even if he did respond to reports that his dad was negotiating in London by responding: "Nah, my dad's on the sofa, with his arse hanging out his trousers as usual."