"I can’t do that, that’s not me."
"What do you mean?"
"I just don’t do those things."
"Why not?"
"I don’t know it was never my personality"
"Why don’t you try?"
"Because it’s not me, I’d be acting"
"Do you want to do it?"
"Well..yea of course. But it’s not who I am"
"So your wants aren’t a part of you?"
”..I don’t know”
"You want to, but then you tell yourself it’s not you. So you only want the wanting?"
"No I want to I just can’t"
"How do you know unless you’ve tried?"
"I did try and it didn’t work"
"Did you try the best you could try?"
"I tried pretty damn hard"
"So why don’t you try harder?"
"I told you it’s not who I am"
"Where?"
"… What? What do you mean where?"
"Where is it not who you are"
"I don’t understand"
"You stand here and tell me what you want. Then you tell me it’s not who you are. Yet you’re the one deciding that it’s not who you are. You tell yourself if you tried to do what you wanted you’d be acting. What’s the difference between acting and doing it? Belief. You don’t believe in yourself. I ask you where is it not you, in the past? The past isn’t right now. In your memories? As time flows forward you create new memories, as you also burst into new form. Think of how it feels to be 10 seconds from now. 5 seconds? 3 seconds from now? What’s going to happen 1 second from now? The future doesn’t exist right now. Every second is an opportunity to be who you want to be. Every second we create memories and open up new opportunities for choice. You want to do something, but then you decide your wants aren’t who you are. It’s because you’re only looking backwards in time. Where is it not who you are?—It’s in your mind. It’s in the way you decide who you are. You’re walking backwards and describing what it’s like to walk backwards as an excuse to prevent yourself from turning around and going forwards. You decide who you want to be with each thought and each choice. You’re only acting if you don’t believe in yourself. But how could you believe in yourself and decide who you are using only your memories of who you were?”
sós