The phrase just doesn’t make sense to people when I first say it:
Porno 8-track tapes.
No, not videos — 8-track tapes, like from the 70’s. Audio only. No, not recordings of porno movie soundtracks. It’s like porno for the blind, or X-rated radio theater: improbable scenarios, occasional sound effects, awkward play-by-play of all the action. Arousing? Stilted? Downright hilarious? You decide.
Naturally, I saved one of my faves for last: From the great voices, to the too-busy artwork, “Fornicating Female Freaks” is one of the high cards from these crazy 8’s. Even the sparse, minimalist touches of post-production and mild foley work show that someone, somewhere, had aspirations for this little gem, at least for a few cocaine-fueled mixdown moments. The cover art’s promise to allow you to “Actually listen to desire filled conversations, naked abandoned actions, hear absolutely everything” is not an empty promise; certainly not as empty as the cover baseless proclamation that you will find a “Free Gift Inside! — A Genuine French Tickler Novelty”. There’s a full synopsis printed in teeny-tiny little type on the cover, but it’s more fun to just reprint the red-ink, all-caps, italicized teaser phrases:
“With your own ears you hear Rana / built / brick out-house / sex pervert! / Listen to
Joanne / nymphomaniac / even / wild / desires. / Freaking off orgy / around the clock sex /
fornicating fun and games / balled by a woman. / Fast / Head-Nose-Tongue, / mechanical
sex gadgets.”
Juicy extracted soundbites:
“We’re just two lonely bitches on the loose for the weekend.”
“Start the countdown baby…”
“Not my cunt ya dumb bitch, put your tongue up my asshole!”
“I want to suck your cum, not your blood.”
“Fuck the bastards / This dump is starting to fill up with those slimy cocksuckers…”
http://www.dinosaurgardens.com/archives/489