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    JELYFISHPěstujeme anglický humor
    ZWEIBLUMEN
    ZWEIBLUMEN --- ---
    What would an English football fan do if England won the World Cup?

    Stop playing FIFA and go to bed.
    KURE
    KURE --- ---
    A young lad from Scotland had to go to school far away from home.
    There, he had a room with two other roommates.
    After a while, his parents asked him how is life at school and how the other boys are.
    He told them that in general all is good, but his mates were a little weird.
    One of them had many, many pillows and was always sleeping buried under them all.
    The other boy would scream in the middle of the night and then bang his head against the wall for hours and hours.
    And what do you do? How do you cope? Asked his parents.
    I don't really mind, he replied. I just ignore them and keep training in playing the bagpipes!
    ZWEIBLUMEN
    ZWEIBLUMEN --- ---
    My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
    If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
    ZWEIBLUMEN
    ZWEIBLUMEN --- ---
    My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
    They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
    ZWEIBLUMEN
    ZWEIBLUMEN --- ---
    When ordering food at a restaurant, Lord Eugen the waiter how they prepare their chicken.
    “Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
    MEZZANA
    MEZZANA --- ---
    Your Name? | A Bit Of Fry And Laurie | BBC
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nq-dchJPXGA
    VRAN
    VRAN --- ---
    How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

    None.
    BUSH13
    BUSH13 --- ---
    BUSH13
    BUSH13 --- ---
    I saw a guy at the Olympics. He was carrying a long pole.
    "Are you a pole vaulter?" I asked him.
    "Nein, I am from Germany. And how do you know mein name ist Walther?!?"
    PJT
    PJT --- ---
    Ve Skotsku proti sobě válčí dva hrady.
    Z jednoho vyletí dělová koule a na druhém urazí kus hradeb.
    Z druhého hradu vyletí dělová koule a z prvního urazí věžičku.
    Tak po sobe střílejí už dva dny, když v tom najednou z ničeho nic - ticho.
    Že by mír? Z jednoho hradu vystrčí trubač hlavu a zahuláká: „Hola, hola, proč nestřílíte?“
    I na druhé straně vykoukne trubač: „Nemůžem, koule je u vás!“
    SLEEPLESS8
    SLEEPLESS8 --- ---
    My plan to steal low fat yogurt from the supermarket is taking Shape...
    SLEEPLESS8
    SLEEPLESS8 --- ---
    Kate Middleton has vowed to drive Prince George to his £5650 a term school to "give him normality."

    And there's nothing like going to school in the third bulletproof range rover of the convoy to keep a kid's feet on the ground.
    SLEEPLESS8
    SLEEPLESS8 --- ---
    Seeing all the Celtic fans celebrating winning the Scottish Premiership reminded me of that time I broke open a bottle of champagne after beating my 6 year old daughter in an arm wrestle.
    SLEEPLESS8
    SLEEPLESS8 --- ---
    Just bought a new car radio. Shout 'Rock' it plays rock music, shout 'Soul' it plays soul music. Some children ran in front of my car. I shouted 'Fucking kids !!' It played Gary Glitter
    DOKIS
    DOKIS --- ---
    LOVE_DALI
    LOVE_DALI --- ---
    Ahoj, hledám prosím jedno video. Na YT bohužel nic. Jedná se o českého herce, pravděpodobně žijícího v Anglii, který natočil video a pravém anglickém pudinku. Díky za hint :).
    SLEEPLESS8
    SLEEPLESS8 --- ---
    Theresa May has appointed Arsene Wenger to lead the Brexit negotiation because he knows how to get out of Europe Fast!
    SLEEPLESS8
    SLEEPLESS8 --- ---
    Queen Elizabeth never comes during sex. Instead, she "arrives".
    JENDULUS
    JENDULUS --- ---
    BBC šokovala. Poslanec chtěl hymnu, tak mu pustili Sex Pistols – Novinky.cz
    https://www.novinky.cz/...a/419725-bbc-sokovala-poslanec-chtel-hymnu-tak-mu-pustili-sex-pistols.html
    ARMADILLO
    ARMADILLO --- ---
    Kliknutím sem můžete změnit nastavení reklam