How to avoid a kundalini awakening:
Eat a heavy cooked diet, do not exercise or spend time in nature, waste your energy on alcohol and cigarettes, do not meditate, avoid spiritually advanced people, do not get into stressful or challenging situations, do not sail across the ocean or do anything remotely adventurous, breath shallow, avoid music, dance, drumming and raw food. Do not fall in love, and especially do not love any guru type. Do not feel any gratitude or mystical feelings. Have no awe over creation, cultivate a mean, small and nasty nature, do not use your intellect, and do not follow your muse or your heart.