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    PAVLOSComedy Zone :: Quotes from the British and American Sitcoms
    Have you seen Spaced, Red Dwarf, It Crowd, Office, Green Wing, Peep Show, Futurama, Family Guy, Friends, Seinfeld, Will and Grace...? Do you think they are funny? Can you quote them? Then come and join us! Oh, and by the way, in English, please!


    Disclaimer: We do not know where to get any of these titles nor subtitles nor anything else. So do not ask! (Unless you are fond of bananas and we have loads and loads of bananas indeed)

    rozbalit záhlaví
    ZYNXUVY
    ZYNXUVY --- ---
    Of course, lager! The only thing that can kill a vindaloo!
    CORNIIS
    CORNIIS --- ---
    Karen: Imagine the most beautiful flower you've ever seen... its petals opening as it's gently touched by the sun.
    Jack: Oh.
    Karen: Now imagine a vagina next to that.
    Grace: See, even that made me horny.

    Will and Grace.
    CORNIIS
    CORNIIS --- ---
    Basil Fawlty: [indicating Sybil] This - Basil's wife.
    Basil Fawlty: [indicating himself] This - Basil. This - smack on head.
    [smacks Manuel on the head]
    MARCUS_17
    MARCUS_17 --- ---
    Butter robot(asking for second time): What is my purpose?
    Rick: You pass butter.
    Butter robot: Oh my god.
    Rick: Yeah, welcome to the club pal.

    Rick and Morty S01E09
    KEEP_SMILE
    KEEP_SMILE --- ---
    Joey: "It is on how woman's purse looks so good on me, a man."
    Rachel: "Exactly. Unisex."
    Joey:"Maybe you need sex. I had sex couple of days ago."
    Rachel: "No, no Joey. U N I sex."
    Joey: "You can not say no to that."

    Friends S05E13
    CANEBRA
    CANEBRA --- ---
    sorry, not sitcom, but priceless :D

    The Dictator, 2012:

    General Aladeen:
    "You go to the bathroom after Osama, you will realize the true meaning of terrorism."

    "Kim Kardashian is a very nice girl, but unbelievably hairy! When I pulled her panties down, I thought I was looking in the mirror."

    "I love it when women go to school. It's like seeing a monkey on roller skates -- it means nothing to them, but it's so adorable for us."


    Store Customer: "God, the police are such fascist bastards."
    Aladeen: "Yes, and not even in a good way."
    CANEBRA
    CANEBRA --- ---
    2 Broke Girls, s01e15

    Caroline: [After noticing Max is smoking one of Sophie's electric cigarettes] Max, you shouldn't smoke. You'll get...
    Max: What, electrocuted? This is silly. If I'm gonna suck on something this hard and get no pleasure out of it, I should just date.
    ALEEGALTROLL
    ALEEGALTROLL --- ---
    "The point I'm trying to make, you dirty son of a fetid whoremonger's bitch, is that we're friends!" - Rimmer
    JNK
    JNK --- ---
    Siren ep 1
    She calls it post-traumatic disorder, I call it up, horny down.
    911
    911 --- ---
    Judge Harm: Bart Simpson, I declare you emancipated. Further, I hereby garnish Homer's wages until Bart is fully repaid.
    Homer: Mmmm.. Garnish.
    FALLENANGEL
    FALLENANGEL --- ---
    "Hi, Earl!"
    PAVLOS
    PAVLOS --- ---
    Sheldon: 'I'm not insane, my mother had me tested.'

    (Big Bang Theory:)
    ELAINE
    ELAINE --- ---
    Manny: "ooh, ooh, ooh"
    Bernard: "what's up with you?"
    Manny: "I get terrible cramp when I'm stressed"
    Bernard: "So don't be stressed. Why are you stressed?"
    Manny: "Because I open the fridge door there are shin bandages next to the cheese."
    Bernard: "That's just a little..."
    Manny: "There's jam in the bath"
    Bernard: "Oh, come on!"
    Manny: "You are a filth wizard, a friend only to the pig and the rat"
    (Manny's opening a pizza box) Ugh. Look!"
    Bernard: "Pizza. I was gonna warm and eat it later. Everybody does that. That's normal. You are looking for things to complain about!"
    Manny: (showing him the box) "And what are these?"
    Bernard: "Wasps"

    (Black Books, Grapes of Wrath)


    FALLENANGEL
    FALLENANGEL --- ---
    "Oh, we have been voting. Three of us voted for the plane, Sheldon voted for the train... so we are taking the train."
    R4BB1T
    R4BB1T --- ---
    Nice suit. John Phillips, London. I have two myself. Rumor has it Arafat buys his there.
    PAVLOS
    PAVLOS --- ---
    Edith: Rene! What are you doing with that serving girl?

    Rene: Youuuu stuuuupid woman!

    ['Allo 'Allo!]
    ROJTA
    ROJTA --- ---
    sheldon: "...and Penny? well played."
    FALLENANGEL
    FALLENANGEL --- ---
    MISHAAA: Penny: "Who is it?"
    MISHAAA
    MISHAAA --- ---
    knock-knock Penny! knock-knock Penny! knock-knock Penny!
    PAVLOS
    PAVLOS --- ---
    DAVE: How could you do this to me?
    DEBBIE: Do what?
    DAVE: Fertilise me. Take advantage of me. Knowing that I was drunk and didn't have precautions.
    DEBBIE: Listen, I assumed you'd taken care of that side of things. It's the man's responsibility. It's the man who get's pregnant. It's the man who has to suffer the agony of childbirth.
    ARNOLD: Agony! This gets better and better!

    RedDwarf S2E6