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    PAVLOSComedy Zone :: Quotes from the British and American Sitcoms
    ORGANA
    ORGANA --- ---
    Fran: Let's go out for Sunday lunch.
    Bernard: All right.
    Manny: Where? Where?
    Fran: There's this new place, very in -The Mortuary. No vegetables, everything's
    dead animals on little headstones.
    Bernard: Why does it have to be fancy?
    I just want sausage, mash and a bit of cake. Not twigs fried in honey
    or a donkey in a coffin.

    (Black Books, season 2)
    SPEEDY
    SPEEDY --- ---
    SEOMAN: Let's face it, comedy's a dead art form. Tragedy, now that's funny!

    (Bender, Futurama)
    SEOMAN
    SEOMAN --- ---
    7:0

    :D
    SPEEDY
    SPEEDY --- ---
    Oh God, look at me having sex with a pig. I've become my father.

    (Stewie Griffin, Family Guy)
    PAVLOS
    PAVLOS --- ---
    I am Bender. Please insert girder.

    (Futurama, season 2)
    SEOMAN
    SEOMAN --- ---
    Gay musical called Gay
    Thats quite gay
    This must be gayest musical ever made
    Oh no its set in the 80s

    :D
    TIGRE
    TIGRE --- ---
    “What, you got a problem with Ricky?”
    “No no no, sleep with everyone in the office, he’s not even a permanent member of staff. I’d have preferred it if you’d slept with Gareth.”
    "Wouldn’t happen.”
    “Oh why, ‘cos he didn't go to university?”
    “No, ‘cos he's a little weasel-faced arse.”
    “Ah, you could do worse than Gareth, he hasn't missed one day, and don’t call my second in command an arse-faced weasel-”
    “A weasel-faced arse.”
    “Same thing.”
    “Well no it’s not. Would you rather have a face like an arse or a face like a weasel?”
    “Weasel probably”

    (office)
    SPEEDY
    SPEEDY --- ---
    Woman: Have you got anything without Spam?
    Waitress: Well, there's Spam egg sausage and Spam, that's not got much Spam in it.
    Woman: I don't want any Spam!
    Man: Why can't she have egg bacon Spam and sausage?
    Woman: That's got Spam in it!
    Man: Hasn't got as much Spam in it as Spam egg sausage and Spam, has it?
    Woman: Look, can I've egg bacon Spam and sausage without the Spam?
    Waitress: Ueegh.
    Woman: What do you mean "Ueegh"? I don't like Spam!
    Vikings: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spammity Spam! Wonderful Spam!

    (Monty Python's Flying Circus)
    PAVLOS
    PAVLOS --- ---
    AETHER: Correct! :)
    PAFAA
    PAFAA --- ---
    Witchsmeller: Do you deny that you were seen, on the Feast of St. Jacob the
    Turgid, speaking to this little cat Bubbles?

    Edmund: Well, of course I deny it!

    Witchsmeller: Ah, but the chambermaid Mary heard you say, and I quote, "Hello,
    little Bubbles, would you like some milk?"

    Edmund: Well, I might have said *that*!

    Witchsmeller: Ah!!! And what did you mean by it?

    Edmund: Well, I meant, would the cat like some milk.

    Witchsmeller: Milk? What did you mean by 'milk'?

    Edmund: I meant *milk*! Bloody *milk*!!!

    Witchsmeller: BLOODY MILK!!! It was a mixture of milk and blood!

    (Black Adder S1E6)
    AETHER
    AETHER --- ---

    Jen: I've got lot's of experience of all computer … thing. You know e-mails. Sending e-mails, receiving emails, deleting e-mails. Erm. I could go on…

    Boss: Do!

    Jen: The Web. Using mouse, mices, using mice. Erm. Clicking… double-clicking, the computer screen, of course, the keyboard, the grrls on the floor down there.

    Boss: The hard drive?

    (The IT Crowd:)
    SPEEDY
    SPEEDY --- ---
    Leader: Gentlemen, welcome to Robot Club. The first rule of Robot Club is, you do not talk about Robot Club. The second rule of Robot Club is, you do not talk about about Robo… Wait, I got that wrong. The second rule is, no smoking.
    Tim: Why aren't we allowed to smoke?
    Mike: Shh! We're not supposed to talk about it.
    ...
    Leader: ACTIVATE!

    (Spaced)
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