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    PAVLOSComedy Zone :: Quotes from the British and American Sitcoms
    LOJZEE
    LOJZEE --- ---
    Black Adder:
    Right Baldrick, let's try again shall we? This is called adding. If I have two beans, and then I add two more beans, what do I have?

    Baldrick
    Some beans.

    Black Adder:
    Yes...and no. Let's try again shall we? I have two beans, then I add two more beans. What does that make?

    Baldrick
    A very small casserole.

    Black Adder:
    Baldrick, the ape creatures of the Indus have mastered this. Now try again. One, two, three, four. So how many are there?

    Baldrick
    Three

    Black Adder:
    What?

    Baldrick
    And that one.

    Black Adder:
    Three and that one. So if I add that one to the three what will I have?

    Baldrick
    Oh! Some beans.
    PAVLOS
    PAVLOS --- ---
    Blackadder: You see the ancient Greeks, your Highness, wrote in legend of a terrible container in which all the evils of the world were trapped. How prophetic they were. All they got wrong was the name. They called it 'Pandora's Box', when of course they meant 'Baldrick's Trousers'. :D
    FALLENANGEL
    FALLENANGEL --- ---
    ECK: Můj oblíbenej :)
    ECK
    ECK --- ---
    if you type google into google you can break the internet.
    so please do not try, even for joke...

    _Jen
    ECK
    ECK --- ---
    ... more Barnard´s:

    Eeeeverybody hates you. Even those people you havent met yet.
    You mum called just to say she is sooo glad she havent heard from you.
    ECK
    ECK --- ---
    Dylan_Moran (Black Book´s Bernard) on his show:
    I hate sooo much it gives me energy. I need to get up early in the morning to hate you because there is not enough time for it.

    ... just brilliant
    PAVLOS
    PAVLOS --- ---
    :)

    Daisy: Yo don't like him, do you?

    Tim: I like him. I just don't know why...

    (Spaced)
    FALLENANGEL
    FALLENANGEL --- ---
    Brian: Who is it?
    Tim: Father Christmas.
    Brian: Opens the door.
    Brian: Oh, it´s you.
    Tim: Who you think it was?

    Spaced s01e02

    To mě dostalo :D
    PAVLOS
    PAVLOS --- ---
    HD ready... I'm so ready for HD...

    (Peepshow)
    PAVLOS
    PAVLOS --- ---
    FALLENANGEL: What are you doing?! :]
    FALLENANGEL
    FALLENANGEL --- ---
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZLP90bZbbw

    Bez videa to nemá smysl :)
    GABRIELA
    GABRIELA --- ---
    No cash, no ash

    (Moss, Ideal)
    SHMAIDA
    SHMAIDA --- ---
    It must be hard to be disabled and gay!
    (It Crowd)
    PAVLOS
    PAVLOS --- ---
    Rimmer: Well, I'd have thought it was obvious. Two people, unable to contain their desires, had an illicit liason. A liason that an unforgiving society would not accept. And you were the fruit of their forbidden passion. You're forbidden passion fruit.

    (Red Dwarf)
    PAVLOS
    PAVLOS --- ---
    RIMMER: So, let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the King of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you're telling me you are completely sane?! I think that warrants 2 hours of W.O.O.
    LISTER: What's W.O.O?
    CAT: You had to ask.
    RIMMER: With ... out ... oxygen. No oxygen for 2 hours. That will teach you to be bread baskets.

    (Red Dwarf)
    ZIKE
    ZIKE --- ---
    Abigail: Ow! I'll kill you, you fucking flat-chested cocksucking spastic horse-fucker!
    Sid: Whoa... good swearing....Michelle would never, never fuck a horse

    Cassie: Its not exactly like anybody cares..

    Chris: Yo Last night, man. Cool. Total blast. Everything you could ever want from an evening. Songs, choirgirls, colourful costumes, fellatio... Rabbits...
    Maxxie: Rabbits?
    Chris: Don't ask, man.

    ("Skins")
    EZECHIELL
    EZECHIELL --- ---
    Dan "When are you going to fuck him?"
    Claire "I’m looking around his office, DAD!"
    Dan "Yeah. You’re going to fuck an idiot."

    - Claire and Dan Ashcroft @ Nathan Barley
    EZECHIELL
    EZECHIELL --- ---
    Claire "Is that Doug Rocket?"
    Toby "Mr. Doug Rocket to me, yeah."
    Nathan "He set that place."
    Toby "Yeah, you know, his stuff."
    Claire "Very-phonix?"
    Toby "Really a genius. You know, that they’re only band ever to knock themselves of the top of the charts with the same record?"
    Claire "How?"
    Toby "I don’t know, it’s in France."

    - Claire Ashcroft, Nathan Barley and Toby @ Nathan Barley
    EZECHIELL
    EZECHIELL --- ---
    Mudd "Ashcroft, you’ve been checking out Barley’s website?"
    Dan "No."
    Ned "Oh, yeah yeah.... He invented this game called cock-muff-bumhole?"
    Rufus "Nathan invented it on his website, yeah?"
    Ned "Yeah, have you played it yet?"
    Dan "No?"
    Rufus "Watch this:
    (brilliant)
    "Oooh!"
    "Muffs mothers cock!"
    "Oh your bumhole just fired at my muff!"
    Mudd "It’s: cock, muff, bumhole."
    Dan "Genius."
    Rufus "I’ve seen idiots playing this, yeah?"
    Ned "That is funny, mate."
    Rufus "They don’t realize it’s not good, cos its rude, yeah?"
    Ned "It’s good, cos it looks like it’s good, because it’s rude."

    - SugarApe crew @ Nathan Barley
    EZECHIELL
    EZECHIELL --- ---
    When are you going to fuck him?
    I’m looking around his office, DAD!
    Yeah.
    You’re going to fuck an idiot.

    - Claire and Dan Ashcroft @ Nathan Barley
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