Jeremy: What do you think, Super Hans?
Super Hans: Crack! Just give me crack!

[Peepshow]

Hello Umpa Lumpas of science!

Big Bang Theory s01e12

LISTER: I never fall for women who are any good for me Kryten, it's either heartbreakers or moral garbage on legs.

[RD S6E3]

Black Adder:
Right Baldrick, let's try again shall we? This is called adding. If I have two beans, and then I add two more beans, what do I have?

Baldrick
Some beans.

Black Adder:
Yes...and no. Let's try again shall we? I have two beans, then I add two more beans. What does that make?

Baldrick
A very small casserole.

Black Adder:
Baldrick, the ape creatures of the Indus have mastered this. Now try again. One, two, three, four. So how many are there?

Baldrick
Three

Black Adder:
What?

Baldrick
And that one.

Black Adder:
Three and that one. So if I add that one to the three what will I have?

Baldrick
Oh! Some beans.

Blackadder: You see the ancient Greeks, your Highness, wrote in legend of a terrible container in which all the evils of the world were trapped. How prophetic they were. All they got wrong was the name. They called it 'Pandora's Box', when of course they meant 'Baldrick's Trousers'. :D

Dylan_Moran (Black Book´s Bernard) on his show:
I hate sooo much it gives me energy. I need to get up early in the morning to hate you because there is not enough time for it.

... just brilliant

:)

Daisy: Yo don't like him, do you?

Tim: I like him. I just don't know why...

(Spaced)

Brian: Who is it?
Tim: Father Christmas.
Brian: Opens the door.
Brian: Oh, it´s you.
Tim: Who you think it was?

Spaced s01e02

To mě dostalo :D

It must be hard to be disabled and gay!
(It Crowd)

Rimmer: Well, I'd have thought it was obvious. Two people, unable to contain their desires, had an illicit liason. A liason that an unforgiving society would not accept. And you were the fruit of their forbidden passion. You're forbidden passion fruit.

(Red Dwarf)

RIMMER: So, let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the King of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you're telling me you are completely sane?! I think that warrants 2 hours of W.O.O.
LISTER: What's W.O.O?
CAT: You had to ask.
RIMMER: With ... out ... oxygen. No oxygen for 2 hours. That will teach you to be bread baskets.

(Red Dwarf)