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    PASKYWaste lands - the dust falling on the reality
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    "O tomto se vypráví taková historka, že se při jedné slavnostní večeři vyzval host známého anglického matematika G. H. Hardyho, ať mu dokáže, že z rovnosti 2 + 2 = 5 plyne, že McTaggart je papež. Hardy odpověděl:

    'Dobrá, nechť je tedy 2 + 2 = 5. To znamená, že 4 = 5. Z obou stran této rovnosti odečtěme 3, dostaneme, že 1 = 2, neboli 2 = 1. Takže, McTaggart a papež, to jsou dvě osoby, ale 2 je rovno 1, takže McTaggart a papež je jedna osoba.'"
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    Give a man a match, his hand will be warm for 0.37 second. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

    Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Try to teach a man to fish, and he'll bitch you're not giving him free fish.

    If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from
    many it's research. -- Wilson Mizner

    A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    Spojenim lidske a mimozemske DNA vytvorili vedci Sil - napul zenu, napul vetrelce. Tento puvabny, ale vrazdici stroj je ted na uteku a agenti ho musi znicit driv, nez se staci rozmnozit.

    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. "Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?" he asked.
    "Begin at the beginning", the King said gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
    -- Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

    A bad beginning makes a bad ending.
    -- Euripides, Aeolus, fragment 32
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    HOW IT HAPPENED - Isaac Asimov

    My brother began to dictate in his best oratorical style, the one
    which has the tribes hanging on his words.

    "In the beginning," he said, "exactly fifteen point two billion
    years ago, there was a big bang and the Universe--"

    But I had stopped writing. "Fifteen billion years ago?" I said
    incredulously.

    "Absolutely," he said. "I'm inspired."

    "I don't question your inspiration," I said. (I had better not.
    He's three years younger than I am, but I don't try questioning his
    inspiration. Neither does anyone else or there's hell to pay.) "But are
    you going to tell the story of Creation over a period of fifteen billion
    years?"

    "I have to," said my brother. "That's how long it took. I have it
    all here," he tapped his forehead, "and it's on the very highest authority."

    By now I had put down my stylus. "Do you know the price of
    papyrus?" I said.

    "What?" (He may be inspired but I frequently noticed that the
    inspiration didn't include such sordid matters as the price of papyrus.)

    I said, "Suppose you describe one million years of events to each
    roll of papyrus. That means you'll have to fill fifteen thousand rolls.
    You'll have to talk long enough to fill them and you know that you begin to
    stammer after a while. I'll have to write enough to fill them and my fingers
    will fall off. And even if we can afford all that papyrus and you have the
    voice and I have the strength, who's going to copy it? We've got to have a
    guarantee of a hundred copies before we can publish and without that where
    will we get the royalties from?"

    My brother thought a while. He said, "You think I ought to cut it
    down?"

    "Way down," I said, "if you expect to reach the public."

    "How about a hundred years?" he said.

    "How about six days?" I said.

    He said, horrified, "You can't squeeze Creation into six days."

    I said, "This is all the papyrus I have. What do YOU think?"

    "Oh well," he said, and began to dictate again, "In the beginning --
    Does it have to be six days, Aaron?"

    I said, firmly, "Six days, Moses."
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    Laska sa pyta priatelstva: Naco si tu, ked som tu ja?
    A priatelstvo vravi: Aby som vycarilo usmev tam, kde ty zanechas slzy...
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    Of the 3 great composers Mozart tells us what it's like to be human,
    Beethoven tells us what it's like to be Beethoven and Bach tells us
    what it's like to be the universe. -- Douglas Adams


    Someone made a generic comment about the snow, and we all offered a sweet nothing on the subject.


    Americti archeologove nalezli v Nevadske pousti, v hloubce 10m, odpovidajici
    stari 15.000 let, medeny drat. Z toho usoudili, ze jiz tehdy byl v Americe
    zaveden telefon. Jejich rusti kolegove kopali u Moskvy v hloubce 20m, ktera
    odpovida stari 30.000 let a nenasli vubec nic. Z toho Rusove usoudili, ze jiz
    pred 30.000 lety existovalo v Rusku bezdratove spojeni.
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    Proč se komár tolik mračí,
    proč zatíná pěstičky?
    Protože ho v břiše tlačí
    čtyři krevní destičky.

    Chystal se už mnoho dní,
    než je setnul sekerou,
    dneska už ho příbuzní
    ani trochu neserou.
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    Subject: Re: What's buried in your back yard?

    > My ex-wife.
    You have to check "Post Anonymously" _before_ you press submit.


    Flames and theft are the two pillars of the free software movement.


    By contrast, the function 0^x is quite unimportant.


    Gepard se skryva ve vysoke trave. Pozoruje antilopy a derivuje.
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    Double, double, toil and trouble;
    Fire, burn; and caldron, bubble.
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    And so it begins. The trap is set. The prey approaches.
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    "Where the people fear their government, there is tyranny, where the government
    fears its people, there is Liberty." - T. Jefferson

    "Dobrý den."
    "Alláh akbar!"
    "Vaše jméno a státní příslušnost?"
    "Hassan Sullej Hamar, Pákistán, tady je můj pas a vízum."
    "Takže provedeme registraci telefonu na vaše jméno. Číslo bude registrováno na dobu jednoho roku, pak je potřeba registraci obnovit."
    "Néé pani, napište mi to jenom na tejden, já ho pak už nebudu potřebovat."
    "Dobrá, tak tady to máte, hezký den."
    "Alláh akbar."
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    The wind was flapping a temple flag. Two monks were arguing about it. One said
    the flag was moving; the other said the wind was moving. Arguing back and forth
    they could come to no agreement. The Sixth Patriarch came along and said,
    "It is neither the wind nor the flag that is moving. It is your mind that is moving."
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    Dlouho jsem si myslel, že ptáci ráno zpívaj´.
    Až teprve nedávno jsem pochopil,
    že vlastně řvou hrůzou, že se probudili
    do dalšího dne v téhle zemi.
    -- Hrabal?
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    <Espy> be careful, some twit might quote you
    <Espy> out of context...
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    Excuse me but can I be you for a while?

    "If you want the holes in your knowledge showing up try teaching someone."
    -- Alan Cox

    Nebudou se štítiti títi ti ti tiší špehové do vazu?

    Nad topolem, nad jezerem, oral vodnik buldozerem.

    V jednom z poslednich clanku jsme uverejnili tornu na maslo ve tvaru fazoloveho
    lusku spolu s parodickym a naprosto lzivym popisem. Nenapadlo nas, ze by jej
    nekdo mohl vzit vazne, coz se bohuzel stalo. Za vznikle potize a zpusobenou
    ujmu se firme Feldewear, s r.o. omlouvame.
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    by xstonedogx (814876) [xstonedogx@gmail.com] on 30/11/04 2:28 (#10950637)

    What drives me batty is people who preface every conversation to make sure I'm there.

    Them: "Stone?"
    Me: "Yes?"
    Them: "Check out this URL."

    Why can't they just start out saying "Check out this URL" and realize that I'll
    check it out when I see the message? The worst of it is that those same types
    usually do this:

    Them: "Stone?"
    Me: (Not there or ignoring IMs or sound down or what have you.)
    Them: (No message, but often bring it up the next time.)

    It reminds me of people waiting to hang up the phone until after the voicemail
    has prompted them for a message. Why listen to the message just to hang up?
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question
    asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the
    food shortage in the rest of the world?"

    The survey was a huge failure...
    In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
    In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
    In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
    In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
    In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
    In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
    And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant
    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    Next lecture on time travel will be held on previous Monday.

    Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

    Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.

        [~]====
     (~~~~~~~)
      ooooooo
    

    PASKY
    PASKY --- ---
    What color is a chameleon on a mirror?

    Only dead fish swim with the stream.

    Why is it called "common sense" when nobody seems to have any?

    "I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way."
    -- M. Twain

    There are two rules to success: 1. Never tell all you know.
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