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    PAVLOSComedy Zone :: Quotes from the British and American Sitcoms
    DEMENCE
    DEMENCE --- ---
    Jim Hacker: Napoleon prize?

    Bill (Foreign Secretary): Yes it's a NATO award given once every five years, big ceremony in Brussels, gold medal, £100 000. The PM's the front runner this time, it's for the statesman who's made the biggest contribution to European unity.

    Sir Humphrey: Since Napoleon, that is if you don't count Hitler.

    (Yes, Minister. On Foreign Policy)
    7FLAMES
    7FLAMES --- ---
    Bend me!

    (Bender, Futurama)
    FALLENANGEL
    FALLENANGEL --- ---
    Yes I know, but thats a different kind. There is bad asbestos, and tehre is nice asbestos.

    BB
    SPEEDY
    SPEEDY --- ---
    Look at that poor man. Not only has he just been screwed by a giant eye, he's now giving birth.

    (Security, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace)
    TIGRE
    TIGRE --- ---
    Which one of you bitches wants to dance?
    (Bernard, BB)
    PAVLOS
    PAVLOS --- ---
    My name is Bender Bending Rodriguez!
    DRAT
    DRAT --- ---
    'It's just boobs lady, you see them in the mirror every day.' MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE
    WOOK
    WOOK --- ---
    +1
    "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch."

    (Stewie Griffin, FG)
    SPEEDY
    SPEEDY --- ---
    +1
    We'll need these bananas for when the radiation turns us all into monkeys!
    FALLENANGEL
    FALLENANGEL --- ---
    Oh, it´s me. Having an orgasm.
    ORGANA
    ORGANA --- ---
    Fran: Let's go out for Sunday lunch.
    Bernard: All right.
    Manny: Where? Where?
    Fran: There's this new place, very in -The Mortuary. No vegetables, everything's
    dead animals on little headstones.
    Bernard: Why does it have to be fancy?
    I just want sausage, mash and a bit of cake. Not twigs fried in honey
    or a donkey in a coffin.

    (Black Books, season 2)
    SPEEDY
    SPEEDY --- ---
    SEOMAN: Let's face it, comedy's a dead art form. Tragedy, now that's funny!

    (Bender, Futurama)
    SEOMAN
    SEOMAN --- ---
    7:0

    :D
    SPEEDY
    SPEEDY --- ---
    Oh God, look at me having sex with a pig. I've become my father.

    (Stewie Griffin, Family Guy)
    PAVLOS
    PAVLOS --- ---
    I am Bender. Please insert girder.

    (Futurama, season 2)
    SEOMAN
    SEOMAN --- ---
    Gay musical called Gay
    Thats quite gay
    This must be gayest musical ever made
    Oh no its set in the 80s

    :D
    TIGRE
    TIGRE --- ---
    “What, you got a problem with Ricky?”
    “No no no, sleep with everyone in the office, he’s not even a permanent member of staff. I’d have preferred it if you’d slept with Gareth.”
    "Wouldn’t happen.”
    “Oh why, ‘cos he didn't go to university?”
    “No, ‘cos he's a little weasel-faced arse.”
    “Ah, you could do worse than Gareth, he hasn't missed one day, and don’t call my second in command an arse-faced weasel-”
    “A weasel-faced arse.”
    “Same thing.”
    “Well no it’s not. Would you rather have a face like an arse or a face like a weasel?”
    “Weasel probably”

    (office)
    SPEEDY
    SPEEDY --- ---
    Woman: Have you got anything without Spam?
    Waitress: Well, there's Spam egg sausage and Spam, that's not got much Spam in it.
    Woman: I don't want any Spam!
    Man: Why can't she have egg bacon Spam and sausage?
    Woman: That's got Spam in it!
    Man: Hasn't got as much Spam in it as Spam egg sausage and Spam, has it?
    Woman: Look, can I've egg bacon Spam and sausage without the Spam?
    Waitress: Ueegh.
    Woman: What do you mean "Ueegh"? I don't like Spam!
    Vikings: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Spammity Spam! Wonderful Spam!

    (Monty Python's Flying Circus)
    PAVLOS
    PAVLOS --- ---
    AETHER: Correct! :)
    PAFAA
    PAFAA --- ---
    +1
    Witchsmeller: Do you deny that you were seen, on the Feast of St. Jacob the
    Turgid, speaking to this little cat Bubbles?

    Edmund: Well, of course I deny it!

    Witchsmeller: Ah, but the chambermaid Mary heard you say, and I quote, "Hello,
    little Bubbles, would you like some milk?"

    Edmund: Well, I might have said *that*!

    Witchsmeller: Ah!!! And what did you mean by it?

    Edmund: Well, I meant, would the cat like some milk.

    Witchsmeller: Milk? What did you mean by 'milk'?

    Edmund: I meant *milk*! Bloody *milk*!!!

    Witchsmeller: BLOODY MILK!!! It was a mixture of milk and blood!

    (Black Adder S1E6)
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